emptiness

where has my thoughts gone? where has everything gone? you take a step back and look at your life in perspective and in the glaring reality the mind has shut down and gone into self preservation mode. the body protests, crying out for sleep. the mind protests, crying out for rest. so now i am but an empty shell, barely functioning, with no will to get out of bed in the mornings, with no care for what nourishment i might need.
my life is one neverending grieving period. it's one tragedy after another and instead of becoming numb, the pain hurts more and more and digs and twists more harshly, aiming more precisely. it chips away at my resolve and whatever restrictions i had put on myself to keep me going is gone.