?

i wait in anticipation of something, anything. the tension is on the verge of breaking. the mind a mangle of scattered thoughts that have taken root and overpowers. i yearn for something, anything. i don't know what. life is a network of complicated twists, of hesitation by the meek, of avoidance and pretenses. life is a network of tangled webs, of cowardly shields by the weak, of scared silences and furtive glances. glances from under my lashes of quick peeks there and away. glances that shimmers with that anticipation, glances that shutters to hide.
the anticipation kills but then i remember the web, the twists, the impossibilities, no hope the deadlier.