Why didn't anyone tell me?

Some women glow and have luscious hair. Or maybe that pregnancy glow is all a myth. There are things no one tells you about pregnancy:

1. Skin tags - I heard about stretch marks but skin tags?
2. Darkening of skin - Especially around my armpits, bellybutton and other... areas.
3. Insomnia - It's like orientation to what life will be like after baby comes and I'm failing miserably.
4. The farts, oh the farts - I'm a walking stink bomb.
5. The bloat - So bloated that people thought I was 8 months in my first trimester and I had to take my wedding ring off and now there's a permanent indentation on my finger.
6. Vaginal discharge - Let's leave it at that.
7. Groin cramps - They hit you when you least expect it.
8. B.O - Combined with heightened olfactory senses, I can't stand myself sometimes.
9. Pregnancy rhinitis - Allergy symptoms but it's not allergies. Endless sneezing nd no relief to be had.
10. Numb legs - Followed by pins and needles. I can't sit for more than 5 minutes and then my legs go numb.

Now for the wait into labour and finding out what no one ever tells you about giving birth and the aftermath...